Hello everyone my blog name is. Simply I and I’m currently serving a life sentence in the Arizona Department of Corrections because during the course of a felony act someone died. I am currently 37 years old and I have been incarcerated since November 22, 1996. At the time of my incarceration I had just turned 18 years old and I was 5 months pregnant with my first and only child. I had been rejected by my family due to my strange and erratic behavior (little did we know I was born with a neurological disorder that advances in your teens). With family out of the picture it didn’t take long before I was on a direct path to prison and hell (if it had not been for grace).
We
moved from Brooklyn, New York and I had not lived in Arizona very long maybe 3-4
years before my incarceration. I really had no recourse but to be in the
streets after I was put out of my family's home. And there I was surrounded by
the streets and never alone… yet, alone
I was. Have you ever been surrounded by people but were still very much alone? Well
that was me! I did not know who I was or where I was going. I was like a tumble
weed being tossed to and fro getting stuck in situations I never wanted to or
imagined I would be in. I was truly, truly lost.
I
was once asked a question that haunts me even to this day, "when you grow up what
do you want to be?" This is just an unassuming question that everyone is asked
right? Well it didn’t seem that simple to me. Whenever asked, a blank stare would
just engulf my face as everyone else around me would begin to interject. But
how in the world did they know what they wanted to be or do? Where did they
hear this stuff? Where are they getting these ideas- is there some mysterious TV
show, book, or class that teaches you the appropriate response? This was all I
could think about. Nothing! I mean nothing remotely answering the question entered
my mind. I tried to imagine myself doing some of the things that those nosy friends of mines would so vibrantly blurt out. But I couldn’t be a nurse I have
a weak stomach, I couldn’t be a teacher I just wasn’t that smart. Nothing they
mentioned was …“me”.
The
bible says, “Where there is no vision the people shall perish”. Having walked
this out in my own life I believe this to be my new found truth. Having no
vision may not have brought you to a physical prison maybe your prison is
spiritual or metaphorical. Maybe your tumbleweed adventures landed you in an
unwanted relationship, a dead end job, an unmotivated life, or an in the closet
addiction. Whatever your prison is it is high time for your release. It is time
to find a life of purpose. Start small, start large or just start. Maybe a
better way to ask the question of what you want to do in life is to ask why you
were born. What is your purpose on this earth? Ask yourself this question often
(especially if you feel your life is off course). Though, I have asked myself
this question before I found myself asking again. I recently had brain surgery
and I wondered if I had done enough if I had touched the lives of others in a
way that left my mark on this world for good and not evil. And I find that I
have a new found mission and purpose to bless the lives of others with purpose
and vision. This is my start!
Here are some tips to help you
figure out your purpose on this earth
1.
What you believe you act on! What do you believe about
your finances, relationships, spiritual life and health? These beliefs are
writing the story of your life they are the wind that pushes you into places
you don’t want to be. If you believe it is true for you- you will consciously
and unconsciously move in that direction. Learn from my mistakes I believed I
was not smart enough, that I had a weak stomach, and that I was alone etc… So
the first step is to figure out what you believe and why? The results
you are getting right now, in every area of your life reflect what you believe!
If you want a new result, you must get a new belief.
2. Step out of
your comfort zone and take a risk -Allow yourself to look foolish for a moment
and find out that its not fatal.
3. Help
someone else! Ironically, one of the greatest ways to find your purpose is to
focus on others. There is something in that process of forgetting myself and concentrating
on other human beings that helps me figure out what I’m passionate about. “Remember
this –a farmer who plants only a few seeds will get a small crop. But the one
who plants generously will get a generous crop 2 Corinthians 9:6.
4. Fill in
this statement, “When I see ____________________________happening to
______________________________ it makes me so mad”. Or “When I see people
____________________________it breaks my heart”. It does no good to complain
about a situation that you are taking no action to improve. It only causes
unnecessary emotional stress. But what if you could do something to improve
those things that seem unfair to you? What would you do? After you fill in the
blanks figure out what you can do to solve the issues you outlined.
In
conclusion, can you relate to being blown around in life like a tumble weed? If
so, we want to hear from you maybe there are others that need to know they are
not alone. Tell us your story by responding to this blog.
